when i see you again.

when i see you again i am going to give you the biggest hug. before you left me i couldn’t because in the nest of wires were you lay, there was no room for my arms to entangle you tightly. when i see you again i am going to talk for three hours about everything i have wanted to tell you since then. before you left me i could only choke out about the boy i was friends with and how the lake water at the place you called home, had swirled around my bare toes. when i see you again i am going to tell you how my world was all grey for weeks.  before you left me i saw a yellow finch, ate vanilla ice cream and helped pick bright orange mini roses. the color left when you did. when i see you again i am going to ask you all the questions that have been piling up like snowdrifts inside of me. before you left me i thought we would have so much more time for me to ask you about your college and first love. when i see you again i am going to ask why you always read the novels from walmart, and if they were any good. before you left me i didn’t have a chance to ask and now i am left staring at your pale purple bookmark embedded midway through a book. you’ll never get to finish that book. when i see you again i am going to ask you to teach me how to make my favorite peppermint cream pie and how to fry okra just right. before you left me i thought we would have another christmas with the two of us in your kitchen smashing peppermints and you instructing me on chopping furry okra. when i see you again i am going to tell you all the friends of yours i got to meet. before you left i didn’t know you near as well as i did now. that makes me sad. when i see you again i am going to make sure that you show me how to hold my knitting needles right. before you left i didn’t treasure cold metal and fuzzy yarn against my palm. now i feel like it ties us together. when i see you again i am going to tell you how amazing you are. before you left i could never say the words. when i see you again i am going to give you my journal filled with tear stained pages, full of all the times i’ve been asked about my grandmothers. and me having to say that i only have one left now. but most importantly, when i see you again, i am going to say i love you, i love you, i love you. because bfore you left me, i don’t think i ever said it enough.

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