i don’t want to wake up one day

with a 9 to 5 desk job

living in the city i went to college in

and eating at the same brunch place

on hwy 25

two exits before the boring brown building

i waste my day in

and i don’t want to realize that my life is

slipping through my fingers

because of the times i never went to the pool

thanks to the stretch marks on my jiggly thighs

and the days i didn’t want to go out

because i was less than perfect

i don’t want to sit at my cheap desk

and watch the same words blur my vision

thinking of how i could have been more

i could have done more

i could have lived more

and i could have loved more

but i let the voice of fear

fester inside of my head

until i woke up fifteen years later

with a heart scarred by “what if”

eyes that no longer shine with excitement

and a sense that my life was never lived

~i wish so badly that i could go back

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