i have not shaved my legs in weeks

not since the last time i wore a swimming suit

and they are cover with fuzz that tickles

the inside of my jeans that i wear at school

even though it is hot outside

 

my hair has less blonde and more brown

with red here and there

trying to fit into the colors that surround me

 

and this girl,

this fall me that i keep trying to awaken,

is trying too

 

she tries to arouse the euphoric feeling that comes

with the thought of apple picking

and hot cinnomon doughnuts

and air that smells like rain and smoke

 

but it’s hard to grasp the feeling of happiness for this season

because i am too big to hide in leaf piles that fill our yard

too heavy to sit in the branches of our apple orchard

now states away

 

and i get the feeling

that the fall me

maybe not be coming back

 

because she lived in a place

where fall was everything

and happiness was easy to get