We fall down.
It’s human nature. There are not any of us who have not fallen down.
Bleeding knees in Preschool, etc.
And I know I promised myself that I wouldn’t anymore.
That I couldn’t.
And I know I swore that I would be better, and that I was past it.
But today I couldn’t stop it.
And the worst part was, it was a normal day.
Feelings rose and rose, higher and higher.
Tears clawed at my eyes.
And I told myself I was better, I told myself I was still ok. And I said I would not break again.
But just like glass, I’m gone again.
I had just found my shape, my purpose, and my dream.
And it’s all gone again.
By god, how can someone live like this? How can I? Always fearing relapse, and then when you finally think that you are happy, it just happens all over again.
Is there no end to pain?