Thank you, A

It wasn’t until after you that I realized one very important thing:

It is true that I adored you, with everything that I thought I had, but I adored you, not myself. I should have adored bot.

 

I should have adored your green eyes, and freckle on your left cheek.

I should have adored the days spent at my best friends house with my feet propped up on the couch. Laughing my head off at some comedy, while my hair is being pulled into a french braid.

I should have adored the days you sat randomly down at the piano and plunked out “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” as best you could.

I should have adored the way your nose crinkled when you smiled or laughed.

I should have adored the black constellations I drew across my knuckles in Study Hall.

I should have adored the little notes you would pass me via paper airplane in Math.

I should have adored the white school chalk stain that was always on my church sweater.

I should have adored my short and stubby pinky toe.

I should have adored the songs you would put in your CD player whenever I went to your house.

I should have adored how my right pinky is slightly shorter than my left.

I should have adored how my palm had a callus for over a week thanks to hard work.

I should have adored all my blue t-shirts.

I should have adored how you always smelled like pine and cedar.

I should have adored the comfy pillows on your home’s sofa.

I should have adored the chocolate chip cookie dough cheesecake I got for my birthday last year.

I should have adored the scented sparkly pens growing dusty in a mason jar somewhere.

 

And most important:

I should have adored myself.

And I should have adored you more.

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