“I’m very busy,”
“Thank you so much for inviting me though.”
“I hope I can come next time.”
She chants words in her head:
Smile a plastic smile.
Say what they want to hear.
Act like the person they want to be and to look up to.
And never act like you are heartbroken………………because that is social suicide.
She’s not busy at all. She finishes her HW in class, so her mind is filled with equations and metaphors instead of him. It is always him. After school, she sobs into her pillow, her mascara smearing. She rips off her tight and restricting clothes. She puts on her baggy sweatpants and a big t-shirt advertising some college she will never go to. And then she tries to find something to do. Watch a TV show everyone loves, so she can add into the gossip. Research her favorite beauty products to see if they are on for sale. None of it ever works. Her mind always drifts back to him. Always him.