I’m not the Person you Want

I’m not the person you want.

Because the crystal perfect girl you see,

Is only the best illusion of me.

 

I’m every bit crazy and weird.

I have horrible and horrific bad days,

And wonderfully pleasant good days.

 

I will argue with everything I have,

And fight with everything I am.

 

So please don’t say,

You want me,

Because it hurts to know,

You only want the girl you think I can be.

 

Expectation has never been my friend,

And acceptance hasn’t either,

So when you say it’s me you want,

Please make sure you mean it.

 

I’m not perfect and I’m tired of acting like it,

And I won’t anymore,

Because if you want me,

You better accept all of me.

 

And I can’t imagine you doing that,

Because you want something I’m not.

 

I could pretend and act like the perfect girl for a while,

But I know in the end my heart would still be in denial.

 

You won’t accept my foundations,

Which I built myself upon,

And challenges everything I have.

 

You make me doubt myself,

And the people around me,

And then you call it “Love.”

Boy,

I am not going to say sorry,

For everything I am,

Because that is what you seem to expect out of me,

And I would never be able to say it honestly.

 

If you really wanted me,

You would accept my choas and my calm,

My mess and my neat,

But you are not doing that.

 

Stop saying you want me,

And you will try to be better,

Because we both know you won’t.

 

I’m not an object for claiming,

Or something to show off,

So get over yourself,

And understand,

That I will never accept what you say.

 

You say I’m beautiful,

Like you charm every girl,

And it just makes me tired,

Because the only adjective you can think of,

To describe me,

Is beautiful.

 

I heard your friends tell you to “step up your game,”

But boy,

Don’t you understand,

You will never accept me for me,

No matter how much you say you will,

And no matter how many times you say you want me.

 

 

Don’t say I will I will be nothing without you,

Because boy,

I was more before you came,

And I’m tired of hiding,

Because you decided you didn’t like,

Certain parts of me.

 

Stop saying you want me,

And actually tell me the reality:

That this was all a game to you,

And I was nothing more,

Then a pretty face,

If that.

 

I’m my own person,

And my own rock,

I am my own friend,

And the only person I want to accept me,

Is myself.

 

The only person I need to love me,

Is myself,

And she hasn’t been doing that,

Since you were around.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4 thoughts on “I’m not the Person you Want

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