My mom tells me to socialize,

And to make more friends,

But I do have friends.

I have my pillow,

And my couch,

And my Latin book,

And all the college football teams,

Who don’t know I exist,

So yeah,

I have friends.

And if you want a human friend example,

I have Harry Potter,

Who is very much human,

Even though he is in a book,

But you don’t need to know that.