Acceptance

Staring down at my iPhone’s screen,

Seeing him with her,

Posted on every social media I follow,

Under all my feed.

And I see all the comments,

How she is so much better prettier me,

And I wonder,

If what they say is true,

Am I really ugly?

She wears bleached skinny jeans,

And cute varsity t-shirts,

And her hair is always perfect.

I never use to feel insecure,

About how I looked,

Until she said,

“All you’ll ever be is ugly.”

She comments on all my posts,

Using all the disgusted emoji faces,

And I wonder,

Why did he choose her?

My hair never really is neat,

All the crazy curls and waves get tangled,

And I wear size 4 jeans,

With all my older brother’s college t-shirts.

I’m not a supermodel,

But I actually use to like the way I looked,

Until he chose her.

I guess I never really was enough,

And he couldn’t handle all my quirks,

He wanted someone better,

Then I guess I could ever be.

I try not to care,

That he thought my worth was so low,

And that I was never was pretty enough,

To fit his expectations.

I started to text him,

To say the things I never did,

To say I was sorry,

For all that I was wrong about,

But I didn’t send it.

My finger hovering over the blue arrow,

The space between said,

And thought.

But then it hit me,

The truth which I had been lacking,

Why I should I be sorry?

Some days I had meltdowns,

Because I couldn’t handle it anymore,

And some days I was clingy,

Because I needed someone who cared,

But if were to do it again,

There isn’t a thing I would change,

Because why should I be sorry,

For me?

I may not weight 115 or less,

Or be considered “pretty,”

But I am happy with myself.

And he couldn’t even try,

To see me the way I do,

Because I never was enough for him.

 

 

 

 

 

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